So, PETA — People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals — that hypocritical group of attention-seekers that has been known to euthanize up to 75% of the pets in their shelters — is at it again.

It isn’t enough for PETA protestors to parade around in their skivvies and topless to protest the use of animal skins and fur in clothing, as they have been known to do in Australia and other places. It’s not enough for them to hijack the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile to protest the unethical eating of pig products or to start a campaign trying to force Ben and Jerry’s to use human breast milk for their ice cream products instead of dairy. No, those stunts, nor the hundreds others they have employed to try and win friends and solicit money haven’t been outrageous enough for the Norfolk, Va.-based group.

Now they are coming for Uga X — Cue — Georgia’s magnificent white English bulldog mascot.

In a tweet, shortly after the Texas A&M game, PETA claimed that Uga looked “miserable” during said game as he lay in his heated and air-conditioned dog house, watching it rain and occasionally napping. I assure you, it was a lot more miserable in section 132 of the South stands than it was in Uga’s palace beneath the hedges. That miserable look on his face probably had more to do with Georgia’s lack of success in the passing game than weather conditions.

PETA went on to say that “no dog deserves to be packed up, carted from state to state, and paraded in front of a stadium full of screaming fans.” PETA subsequently demanded that Uga be retired immediately.

I can guarantee you that Uga ain’t miserable. Other dogs might have masters. Uga has staff. The Savannah Seilers treat Uga like family. Sonny Seiler’s daughter, Swann, once assured me that her daddy took lots better care of Uga than he did her and her siblings. (She may have been joking, but not by much and you get my drift).

This whole Uga brouhaha, which, again, is nothing more than a PETA attention grab, which is what they do, reminds me of a story country comedian Jerry Clower used to tell. He was in a conversation on a plane with a leader of the Women’s Liberation Front, who was hell bent on liberating all women — including Jerry’s wife, Homerleen, whom he called Mama.

Jerry told the women’s libber that Mama could sleep in her fine bed, wrapped in luxurious linen sheets and soft blankets until she was ready to get up. He said she might have to get up at 8 o’clock to open the door for the woman he hired to wait on her. He said that when Mama did get up, she could fix her own breakfast, or have it cooked and brought to her. It was entirely her choice. He said that when Mama wanted to watch her soap operas, she could do it in any of three rooms and could watch laying down, leaning or propped up — whichever way suited her. And when she got ready to go to town to shop or get her hair fixed, she went in a gold Lincoln Continental.

Clower went on to say, “Ms. Women Libber, Mama don’t want you messing with the deal she’s got.”

I am virtually certain that Uga, if he were able to speak for himself, would express the exact same sentiment I’m pretty sure the PETA spokesperson is just jealous. I doubt that that person has ever known the love and adoration Uga X, or his predecessors, has known. Shoot, fire. I’d love for a beautiful Georgia cheerleader to run me out on the field in front of 92,000 fans on game day. The PETA spokesperson has probably never put on a tux and traveled to New York City for the Heisman Trophy presentation or worn a green sweater while leading the Savannah St. Patrick’s Day Parade or had lunch with Clint Eastwood or been featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated while being proclaimed the Greatest College Mascot of All Time.

No, PETA person, Uga don’t want you messing with the deal he’s got. And I think I can speak for at least the majority of the Bulldog Nation when I advise you to listen to an old Lewis Grizzard spiel to find out what part of Uga you can kiss. But I’m warning you, now.

That dog will bite you!

Darrell Huckaby is an author in

Rockdale County. Email him at dhuck008@gmail.com.