Honesty compels me to admit that as I spend more and more hours, days, weeks and months secluded in my home, the more time I spend on social media.

There are some crazy people with crazy ideas on social media.

I wish Facebook had existed, for instance, when President Kennedy was assassinated. We would have gotten to the bottom of that conspiracy in about three days, because there are people on Facebook who know secrets that the government hasn’t even sniffed yet —about China, and President Trump and Hillary and, well, you name it and there is a conspiracy about it. Facebook would have exonerated Lee Harvey Oswald and tied the Kennedy affair to Lyndon Johnson and the Russians before Jackie Kennedy could have posted a picture of the food served at the wake in Hyannis Port.

Don’t roll your eyes and act all offended. You know it’s the truth.

And all these people who are actually having to interact with their children during the school day tickle me. The ones who have always had the most to say about how bad the school systems are and what an easy job teachers have are the ones who are complaining the loudest. Let me tell you something. There are going to be some major gaps in knowledge when the COVID Kids leave school and head out into the world. And there are going to be a lot of kids who drive their teachers crazy next fall when schools start back by putting down the four and carrying the one on multiplication problems, too.

My lovely wife, Lisa, and I are supervising the home-based instruction of our grandson, Sir Henley the Adorable, and it is going swimmingly. He is in pre-school and scheduled to start kindergarten in August, but after Lili and Papa get through with him during the quarantine, they might just want to stick him in the second or third grade instead.

Save your snarky comments. I’m just teasing. Sort of.

Everybody on Facebook is feeling sorry for the Class of 2020 becaue they are having to miss out on so many once in a lifetime opportunities. No prom. No graduation. No senior prank. I agree. It’s horrible, but these kids have pulled off the biggest senior skip day in the history of the world.

One thing folks are doing to “honor the class of 2020” is posting their senior pictures in tribute to this year’s senior class. I don’t understand why an 18-year-old kid would feel better about things because they get to see a bunch of 40- and 50-year-old pictures of girls with big hair and guys with — well, hair, period. In fact, if the truth were to be known, I don’t know how many high school seniors are Facebook friends with a bunch of 60- and 70-year-olds to begin with.

I think this activity is so popular because it gives people a chance to show off how good they used to look, before age and Father Time and too many calories turned them into what they currently look like. Not that there is anything wrong with that. This year’s seniors might not see the pictures, but I am enjoying them, so I hope this trend will continue a while longer.

There are a lot of other Virus Games out there, too. In one activity you are supposed to list 10 jobs you’ve had in your life, but one is a lie and people have to guess which one. In another you list a bunch of people you have seen in concert — but one is a lie and your friends have to guess which one.

I don’t know why people are so fascinated with lying during this crisis, other than they’ve been watching the media too much.

All of these activities are making me tired, but it’s like binge watching Tiger King. I don’t really like it, but I can’t take my eyes off it.

The one activity I will not do is the one where people put math problems up with pictures of cows and girls with buckets and roller skates and stuff that add up to a certain number. I haven’t tried to solve an algebraic equation since I finished Colonel Stanley’s college algebra course the first quarter of my freshman year at the University of Georgia, hallowed be thy name, and I don’t intend to do another now.

Speaking of the University of Georgia — y’all take this quarantine seriously and let’s get this pandemic taken care of. I have to be in Sanford Stadium in 164 days, along with about 92,000 of my closest friends.

Hunker down, you guys. We can get this done.

Support Local Journalism

Now, more than ever, the world needs trustworthy reporting—but good journalism isn’t free. Please support us by subscribing or making a contribution today.

Darrell Huckaby is an author in Rockdale County. Email him at dhuck008@gmail.com.

Recommended for you

Stay Informed

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Please log in, or sign up for a new, free account to read or post comments.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.