My uncle’s wife’s mother’s best friend had a cousin whose best friend’s boyfriend’s nephew overheard somebody talking about what his teacher’s girlfriend overheard her mother’s hairdresser say. My apologies to hairdressers everywhere.

That, my friends, is what is going on right now in Washington, D.C., at the three-ring circus formerly known as Congress.

Our nation has come a long way, brothers and sisters — in the wrong direction. The great experiment that was our Republic is on the brink of collapse because those who have become so entrenched in power are so fearful of having that power wrested away from them that they have abandoned all pretense of actually working on behalf of the American people and are spending all of their time and enormous amounts of the People’s money in an effort to overthrow an election that was held three years ago.

If you believe in your heart that the current impeachment circus is anything more than a political ploy aimed at discrediting an administration that the career politicians cannot muzzle or control, the Brooklyn Bridge is probably something you are considering giving as a Christmas gift to a loved one. Bless your heart.

Consider Adam Schiff. This guy has been caught in so many lies that he makes Pinocchio look like George Washington in comparison. He has, in fact, changed his story so many times that now he cannot possibly remember what he has and hasn’t said and contradicts himself every time he is asked a question. In Tuesday’s sham hearings on Capitol Hill he actually said that he did not know the identity of the ghost-like being that has been referred to only as the Whistleblower.

Those in attendance laughed out loud when he said that, providing a little comic relief to the proceedings, which might be a good thing. Laughter is good for the soul, especially when you are forced to sit around up to your neck in male-cow-manure for hours at a time watching the Constitution of the United States being mocked at every turn.

These are just my opinions, of course, but mine are the only opinions I have.

But let’s look ahead to what might come of this day-time comedy show. What might happen sometime early next year? Certainly nothing will happen this year with Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays approaching. Will the House of Representatives actually pass Articles of Impeachment? Will there actually be an impeachment trial in the Senate? If there is, what will all of that look like?

It’s time for a little history lesson. The Framers of our Constitution spread checks and balances throughout the document. They even thought of what might happen if small-minded people like Adam Schiff gained political clout one day. Thus, the House of Representatives has the ability to bring Articles of Impeachment for “high crimes and misdemeanors.” We can save the argument over whether trying to get to the bottom of Hunter Biden being given a multimillion-dollar job for which he was not qualified is a high crime for another day. Today we will look at what an impeachment trial actually looks like.

It is held in the U.S. Senate. The chief justice of the United States presides. Now get this. I bet most of the twerps in the House of Representatives who are having so much fun getting their face on TV this week don’t realize this. If there is a trial, only Chief Justice John Roberts gets to ask questions. That’s right. There will be no dog and pony show over in the Senate. If a senator has a question, he or she writes the question down on paper and submits it to the chief justice and he, alone, decides whether it will be asked.

There’s another little hitch in the system for the Democrats. Every senator is required by law to be present for every minute of the hearings and if they are absent, they will be placed under arrest and brought back to the Senate chamber. So, what’s the big deal, you might ask?

Oh, nothing, I suppose, unless you are one of those senators, like Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders or Kamala Harris et al who are running for president in 2020. With the Iowa caucuses set for early February and Super Tuesday slated for March 3, it’s not likely that those folks would want to be hemmed up doing their actual jobs instead of out campaigning.

Also, unlike what is going on in the House right now, in an actual impeachment trial, the defense gets to call witnesses to testify under oath. Hunter Biden, Joe Biden and a lot of other folks who really don’t want to be burdened with telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth will be called.

Besides all that, it takes a two-thirds majority to convict and remove the president from office, and that is not going to happen, especially when a third of the senators are trying desperately to hold on to the political positions that have made them rich and powerful.

So, really. There is nothing to see here except a sad display of what happens when our elected officials forget about serving the public and decide to service the public instead.

God help America. She desperately needs help.

Darrell Huckaby is an author in Rockdale County. Email him at dhuck008@gmail.com.