So, what can we investigate now?

For two years a certain segment of our country’s society has been hell bent on proving that the president of the United States somehow colluded with Russians to influence the 2016 presidential election — an investigation that all began because of false claims in a dossier, you remember, paid for by the Hillary Clinton campaign.

Special prosecutor Robert Mueller spent two years and millions and millions and millions of American taxpayer dollars on an investigation and failed to find one iota of proof that the claims of Trump/Russian collusion were founded. In fact, he proved just the opposite. Never to be satisfied, however, the Democrats in Congress — who are eager to pass laws, by the way, allowing those here illegally to influence the 2020 election — by voting! — demanded that Robert Mueller appear before Congress and answer questions about the report on his investigation.

So this week the country was subjected to an entire day of listening to a doddering old man who obviously didn’t know if he were afoot or on horseback dodge questions about a report that he seemingly hadn’t read, much less written, from members of Congress who had no intention of seeking truth, but only of making the other side look bad.

And when all was said and done, nothing was substantiated because the president hadn’t done anything wrong to substantiate. You cannot prove a falsehood. Which didn’t stop certain Democrats from claiming victory and vowing to push on in their battle against truth, justice and the American way.

But most Americans — the Great Silent Majority — I believe, are sick of the whole sorry spectacle and more than ready to move on.

But since we now have 24-hour news stations from one end of the television dial to the other, who have abandoned real journalism and demand sensationalism to achieve ratings and make money, we will need another issue to investigate soon. It shouldn’t be hard to find something.

Why not Area 51? There is already a group of people — perhaps as many as a million if you can believe what you read on the internet — which you cannot — ready to form a flash mob and invade the place. Something happened out on that desert near Roswell, New Mexico, back in the 1950s. We might as well spend a lot more of our own money to try and figure out what. After all, Jimmy Carter is on record as having said he once saw a UFO and the Air Force has released lots and lots of statements from its own airmen about inexplicable observations.

There aren’t any hurricanes to track this week. Let’s investigate little green men. It will make for great television, and if we prove that there are aliens here from another planet Nancy Pelosi can introduce a bill making it legal for them to vote for her. I have been to California and I am pretty sure that if we do have aliens from outer space living in this country, most of them live in her district, which would explain a lot.

If we need something else to investigate, I would suggest finally getting to the bottom of the JFK assassination. Even if he could have made the shots you’ll never convince me that Lee Harvey Oswald had access to that window in the school book depository. There had to have been a conspiracy. Let’s finally prove it.

Or the moon landing. Now that 50 years have come and gone and we’ve had our celebration of the first landing, let’s find out the truth. Was it the lunar surface or Arizona? Inquiring minds want to know. My granny thought that Live Atlanta Wrestling was real and the space program was fake. Let’s find out.

Then there is always the 1969 Mets. How do you explain that? Congress could get to the bottom of that phenomena in no time. And when they finish with the Mets, move right on to the 2010 Auburn football team. If you believe that scholar athlete Cam Newton didn’t get something for playing football at Auburn, I’d like to sell you some of my ocean-front property at the aforementioned moon landing site in Arizona.

Oh, save your breath. I was just kidding and don’t read the negative comments anyway — and somebody screens my email.

Besides, college football season is only four weeks away and we here in the South won’t be paying any attention to what Congress is doing anyway.

And if the Russians DID help get Donald Trump elected, we owe Boris a solid. Have you been paying attention to the economy lately?

Darrell Huckaby is an author in Rockdale County. Email him at dhuck008@gmail.com.

Stay Informed